There’s this moment—maybe you’ve had it too. You’re in the carpool lane, half a granola bar in your bra, your toddler screaming about the wrong color cup, and it hits you:
“I’m falling apart.”
And not just mentally (though, yes, that too). Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually, maybe even metaphysically. You’re bloated. Tired. Irritated. You forgot to eat lunch but somehow ate five stale animal crackers from the car seat.
You whisper:
“I just want to feel like me again.”
✦ This Isn’t About Being Thin. It’s About… Breathing Easier.
Look, you’re not signing up for a bikini contest. (And if you are? More power to you, Queen.) You just want to walk up the stairs without wheezing like an asthmatic walrus. Or maybe, just maybe, you’d like to wear jeans with an actual button again.
But everything out there feels… fake. “Clean keto,” “sugar detox,” “Whole30 warrior”—like, what even is cauliflower rice anyway? Why does it squeak when you chew it?
Real food. Real tired. Real solutions.
That’s the vibe.
1. One. Tiny. Tweak. Just One.
You don’t need a plan. Or a spreadsheet. Or those weird pastel containers influencers use to portion things.
Start with—let’s say—a swap.
💡 Swap #1: Tortilla chips → baby carrots
💡 Swap #2: 3rd coffee → cold water w/ lemon
💡 Swap #3: Sad freezer burrito → eggs + salsa
Just. One. At a time.
You’re not lazy. You’re human. And also possibly peri-menopausal. (Welcome to the Thunderdome.)
2. 5 Foods. On Repeat. Because Decisions Are Exhausting.
Brain fog is real. Grocery store lights are hostile. And if your kid throws one more thing into the cart while you’re trying to remember if you still have peanut butter at home…
Make it stupidly simple:
- Eggs
- Frozen berries
- Spinach (fresh or… not fresh. It all wilts.)
- Sweet potatoes
- Chicken—pre-cooked if it saves your soul
You can make like, ten different meals out of this. Or three. But they’re your three. And that matters.
3. The “Not-Meal-Prep” Meal Prep
No one’s asking you to line up 16 rainbow-colored bowls on Sunday night with exact macros and microgreens and good lighting.
Instead—chop an onion while dinner simmers. Bake extra chicken tonight, so tomorrow’s lunch isn’t just your kid’s leftover soggy grilled cheese again. Pre-wash grapes and feel superior to everyone else.
Call it “accidental prepping.” Boom. Done.
4. Eat Breakfast Even If You’re Crying in the Minivan
Skipping breakfast sounds noble in theory, until you’re growling at your child for breathing too loud by 10am.
Just. Eat. Something.
Even if it’s:
- A boiled egg and string cheese
- Peanut butter toast on last week’s bread
- A smoothie you drank half of, then forgot in the laundry room
Eat. Please. Your blood sugar will thank you. Your children will thank you. Your inner demon may even take a nap.
5. It’s Not “All or Nothing.” It’s Literally “Something or Nothing.”
You ate cookies? Cool. Did you also drink water? Breathe air? Move your body a little?
Then you did something. That counts.
We’ve been poisoned by this idea that if we mess up a little, we’ve ruined everything. That’s garbage logic. Like saying if you drop your phone, you might as well stomp on it and throw it into a volcano.
Just pick it up. Keep going.
6. Snack Time Is Sacred. Even for You.
Let’s talk snacks, shall we?
You deserve snacks that don’t come from your child’s leftover lunch. That don’t involve shame. Or neon orange residue on your fingers.
Try:
- Apple with peanut butter
- Dark chocolate with almonds
- Greek yogurt + a drizzle of honey + cinnamon (Trust me.)
And eat it somewhere quiet. Even if that’s in the laundry room with the dryer as your therapist.
7. Ask for Help. Or Steal It, Honestly.
Listen, some of us don’t have a “village.” Some of us are the damn village. But asking for 20 minutes to yourself isn’t selfish.
Say it out loud:
“I need a minute. I need to not be needed.”
And then go batch-cook eggs. Or cry. Or stretch. Or scroll memes. It’s all part of the healing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
🌀 You Don’t Need a Six-Pack. You Need to Feel Alive Again.
Let’s be real—if you wanted a six-pack, you’d probably buy one at the gas station and drink it behind the garage.
You want to feel better. You want energy. You want to wear your favorite jeans without sucking in. You want to take a selfie without deleting it immediately and spiraling into a shame tornado.
You want relief.
And that doesn’t come from diet pills or apps with chirpy reminders to “drink water, beautiful!” It comes from food that grew in the ground. From baby steps. From grace.
From trying again tomorrow, even if today went sideways.
⚡ TL;DR (because yes, we are tired.)
- Real food. Like, actual food. Not lab food.
- Small swaps. Big impact.
- Prep a little. Forgive a lot.
- Eat snacks. Love snacks. Be the snack.
- Ask for help, or demand it if necessary.
- You’re doing better than you think.
🖤 Still Here? Here’s Your 3-Minute Game Plan.
- Write down 3 real foods you’ll grab this week.
- Swap one thing—literally one.
- Take one snack break. That’s it.
And if that’s all you do today?
That’s enough.
